Sword-Chucks… That’s Right. Sword-Chucks

Today’s quote is…

“I’d be like Bruce Lee meets Musashi! Only better! God, I’m so brilliant!” – Fighter McWarrior

Sword. Chucks. You know, like nun-chucks, but all sword? Eyup… that’s what he just said.

Red and white warrior Fighter sprite!Red and white warrior Fighter sprite!Red and white warrior Fighter sprite!Red and white warrior Fighter sprite!Red and white warrior Fighter sprite!Red and white warrior Fighter sprite!

 

 

These days, I am very proud to say that I was there when the amazing 8-Bit Theater webcomic (I consider it the king of webcomics… well, granddaddy king) introduced the idea of sword-chucks. I laughed like a madwoman when the overly-typical melee character, named Fighter of course, announced that it would probably be a good idea. Probably?!

Sword-chucks, yo! Two swords attached by chains at the hilt as Fighter looks on...

Ahhh, 8-Bit Theater. A truly exceptional rabbit hole to find on the internet. What-it-is? A very, very good parody of  Final Fantasy and many other 8-bit video games. But 8-Bit Theater isn’t just that. I loved the dark humor and blatant slapping around Brian Clevinger did of his own characters (I think I enjoyed Red Mage’s horribly embarassing misadventures with 20-sided die the best). And other than being straight up, effing funny… this webcomic had a pretty great plot.

Red Mage: "Shut up, I'm a genius. My ways are inscrutable!"
It’s okay, Red Mage. I understand your sessay duodecahedron ways…

I remember taking study breaks (really procastination breaks) clicking through as many 8-Bit Theater comics as I could in college to read, and re-read some of the worst shennanigans of the Light Warriors. And Clevinger kept it clever. An incident with a pirate named Bikke, a bunch of cheetoes and a scurvy epidemic… Evil Princess Sarah explaining to Garland how he should have captured her… uh… and I remember something else about Black Mage needing, very badly, to kill Fighter who always emerged cheerfully from his homicidal best-friend’s antics.

Red Mage, "We'll be relatively safe." Black Mage, "HOW relatively?" Red Mage "Slightly to not-at-all. We'll be lucky to have any skin left."

And then, oh God, that time they all got upgraded, but Black Mage had the worst, THE WORST, armor upgrade I have ever seen in a video game. Ever. And I played Warcraft back during the Burning Crusade, if you don’t believe me…

At the time that Brian Clevinger was still making 8-Bit Theater, I was still pretty unfamiliar with 8-bit games, even though they were straight from my era. But evenso, I was determined to follow along, giddily desperate to get all the hilarious references. Actually… sound familiar?

Hadoken power beam!! Black Mage attacks the darkness.

I highly recommend reading 8-Bit Theater. I did a little research to refresh my memory for this post, and I was excited to learn that it won some webcomic awards, too. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised! These days, it is an insanely delightful throwback. A nice reminder of all the greatest tropes of hack-and-slash video games, most especially the 8-bit ones.

Even more about sword-chucks…

I thought about saving this one for the Old school, Rad, Borrowed and Bad series, but who has time for that?! 8-Bit Theater is so fun to remember, and the YouTube fan-made video of their D&D session was the -very- best. I found out the soundtrack is from the Dead Alewives, a Milwaukee-based comedy group. And, I almost forgot that Clevinger made an animated series (see the Bonus Challenge below), so you can even watch some of what he did. I really think he is a talented writer. It’s dangerous to go through college and be in breathless hysterics for as long as his webcomic got me to… how did I pass my classes and not pass out on the floor…?

 

Bonus Challenge

So, load up the cup-o-noodles, some Mountain Dew, strip into your skivvies and enjoy a few hours of shameless webcomic readin’! Or… watchin! Yaay!

 

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